I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
