This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
