I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Randomize
