Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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