Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
