Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
