wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
