i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
