Don't you send me to vm
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
