You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
