If i come over, it means nothing
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Randomize
