I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
