It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
