What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
