I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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