ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
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