They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
and she was petting her beer can
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
