u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
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