We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
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