Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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