oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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