He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize