Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
