I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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