He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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