You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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