i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
