i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
