I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
