I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
