Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
