i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We had to coat check the pizza.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
