4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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