I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
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