i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize