I want to stick my p in your. b.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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