I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
