She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
