Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
