I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
