Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
