"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
