i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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