found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize