Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
