i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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