I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
