apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize