New low: just hacked my moms facebook
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
