still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
