i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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