if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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