Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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