So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
