I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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